


Wanna Get Better

by orphan_account



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26247757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Byulyi thinks of all the little things that made Wheein special. She thinks of her loud laugh. She thinks of her dimple. She thinks of her sideburns that add to her beautiful face. She thinks of the way she takes care of people around her and acts so nonchalant about it. She thinks of Wheein.
Relationships: Jung Wheein/Kim Yongsun | Solar, Jung Wheein/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	Wanna Get Better

The first time Byulyi met Wheein was at a trainee practice, before they sent them to another company. She notices her right away, because she’s pretty cute but she’s also talented— she can’t help but hear the gossip from the other trainees about these two talented girls from Jeonju. Right away, their mentor put everyone into different groups for the weekly evaluation, and then she assigned Byulyi, Wheein and her bestfriend— Hyejin in one.

Within the first few days together, Wheein doesn’t talk to her. She answers the questions that are asked directly to her, but at breaks, she just sits in the corner playing with her phone though she will make conversations with Hyejin, who on the other hand is very easygoing.

A week after, their mentor calls the group of girls, obviously on the radar to debut, at a meeting. Wheein sits besides Hyejin, her hand reaching for the other girl, her back tense, and eyes regarding their mentor.

“I guess you already heard why you girls are here. They want to produce another group and we will choose the most deserving from the rest of you. So practice, we won’t hesitate to remove anyone,” their mentor said, as they waved them out of the office.

Chaeyoung, one of the trainees and another obvious choice for the upcoming group, squeals, then hugs every single one of them. Her excitement might have affected the others, because before Byulyi knows it, she is being hauled towards the practice room.

When Byulyi turns around, she sees Wheein and Hyejin slowly following them. 

Wheein nods her head in her direction. It’s the first time she greets Byulyi directly. And can’t help but smile at the gesture.

Hyejin is next to her and she’s giggling, far from her brooding best friend, and it’s charming.

Then Chaeyoung clears her throat to catch everyone’s attention once they are inside the room then begins talking about something about being grateful. Still giddy from earlier, Byulyi glances at Wheein and sees the younger girl's cheeks flush and engrossed with the girl in front. 

Wheein might have felt someone looking at her because she observes the room before finds Byulyi’s gaze. Embarrassed of being caught, she immediately stares at the floor.

It doesn’t take awhile for Chaeyoung to finish her tiny speech, and everyone takes their leave. Byulyi is about to go home, but Wheein’s soft, “Byulyi-unnie,” causes her to stop her movement. 

Byulyi looks up to ask her what’s wrong, and then she sees the panic in the younger girl’s eyes and a glint of something Byulyi recognises.

“Earlier, I didn’t— I just,” Wheein mumbles.

Byulyi shakes her head. She knows. “It’s cool. She’s pretty. I really can’t blame you.” Her tone is teasing, and Wheein nods in understanding. There’s no need for words to comprehend what happened. 

And both, Byulyi and Wheein silently acknowledge that both of them are similar in that way and that makes Byulyi’s heart race and catch her breath. And she is really glad.

What Byulyi is thankful for is the fact that she desperately wants someone to talk to about herself and her preference, and mostly because she’s happy that it’s Wheein.

The first time Byulyi and Wheein hang out is when their mentor told them that they were not fit to debut. Hyejin was there too and when they announced it, she can’t barely hold her anger— about herself and those people who think that they aren’t good enough— and sadness when Byulyi sees two of the most talented girls she knows, crying. And when they are on their way home, she invites them to her dorm.

They nodded, sniffing, and shyly looked around when they arrived. Wheein stands awkwardly in the middle of the room while Hyejin is comfortably sitting on her worn out couch, once she got rid of her initial shyness. 

Byulyi lets them order anything they want— which her wallet has suffered— and then turns on the television which unfortunately shows female idols performing happily.

She grabs the remote to change what’s on, but then Wheein stops her, “it’s alright, unnie.”

Hyejin quietly says, “We want to know what we are lacking,” and then Wheein just gives a small depreciating smile towards her. They want to improve. Byulyi wants to improve.

She sits with Hyejin at the small couch and Wheein is still standing uncomfortable and out of place, until Byulyi says, “Come on, we could fit in here,” and Wheein nods and settles on the other side snuggling into her best friend. It is tight, but they fit in together.

And then Hyejin pulls Byulyi closer, and says, “we will make it someday, screw those people,” and Wheein hums alongs with the song. The sound breaks her heart yet it’s so beautiful. And it makes Byulyi believe that they will, someday.

One day at practice Wheein and Hyejin keep messing up, an easy choreography that the two of them can usually follow. Their mentor yelled at them and then made them stay for another hour until they got it right. Byulyi waited for them outside the practice room.

“Is everything okay?” Byulyi asks, even though Wheein didn't stop walking and Hyejin softly calls, “Wheein-ah,” as she follows them outside the building.

“I’m sorry,” Wheein says, wiping her tears from her cheeks and pulling the hood of her jacket over her head.

“They are sending us back to our old company.” Hyejin says.

Byulyi knew about it. She heard one of the staff talking about releasing the trainees to accept new and younger ones. And she does not mention it, because she doesn't want it to be true.

Wheein keeps covering her face and shaking.

Hyejin looks at Byulyi and she is about to cry too, and then she hugs them both.

“Do you want to go back to my dorm? We could order take out.” Byulyi asks gently— it still surprises her how attached she becomes to these two— and both Hyejin and Wheein’s faces just crumple as they nod.

Another surprise is when Wheein hugs her tightly along with Hyejin and Byulyi just stands there awkwardly since she is not used to skinship. But still pats their back softly.

That night, no one talks about it. And Byulyi does not say anything about her plan on following them as she curls up beside them.

Sometimes it is better not to promise anything until it is already done.

Byulyi never told her this— because it was gone before it even started— but Wheein is so obvious and really adorable when she has a crush. Her face would get red immediately and her eyes would get softer, and so awkward and so Wheein that Byulyi wants to tease her endlessly. It makes Byulyi smile when she stutters, and whenever she talks to her.

But then Byulyi is aware that she is the first person Wheein knows, that can understand and the only person— besides Hyejin— who will not judge her just because she seems to prefer girls.

They still don’t talk about it. But Byulyi knows. And she also knows the feeling when someone finally met someone that they can relate to.

Byulyi invites her to her dorm for a sleepover, and of course Hyejin is there too and Wheein easily leans closer to Byulyi this time when all of them decide to watch a film.

About an hour into the film, Wheein laughs hysterically and is vibrating from their side, and it scares her because they are not watching something funny. And then she wipes her tears and her eyes fall on Byulyi, scrutinising.

“Are you alright?” Byulyi asks, dumbfounded.

Wheein blinks towards her and nods, then starts laughing again and says, “I’m fine. I just realised something funny.”

Wheein didn’t blush, her eyes didn’t soften and she didn’t stutter. She looks at Byulyi and Wheein snuggles back to them.

The relief in Wheein’s face makes Byulyi want to hug her close.

She didn’t, but Byulyi pats her head lightly.

When Byulyi and Wheein are both done with practice, both of them lay on her bed, exhausted from learning a new choreography, that she barely remembers and Wheein danced perfectly.

“Wheein-ah.”

“Yes, unnie?”

Her voice is frustrated when she asks, “Why are you dating Chandong?”

Wheein shrugs, “He’s cute.”

Byulyi rolls her eyes, and shakes her head.

“I— Well, he’s a good guy,” Wheein says.

“He is,” she says, then grimaces. “I thought you are— “

“What, unnie?”

“You only have crushes on girls… and you never showed any interest in boys. I thought you are— “

If Wheein wasn’t fidgeting— a habit when she’s nervous— and wasn’t ignoring her gaze, Byulyi would have thought that she just assumed things, instead she says, “I think I might like girls.”

“Oh... you think? Why date him then?

“Unnie, are we even living in the same country?”

Byulyi sits up and smiles at Wheein. Her eyes observed her.

“I don’t know that much about dating. Let alone being with a girl. I’m not even sure if I really want to be with one.”

Byulyi nods in understanding and turns towards her. “You should at least try though. It’s hard, I know. But it’s harder to pretend to be someone that you’re not,” she says. Her mouth opens to say more but then she closes her mouth, thinking that it is something for the younger girl to decide.

Neither of you say anything for a while and Byulyi sighs.

“I haven’t even told Hyejin yet,” Wheein says.

Byulyi takes her hands, squeezes. “Whenever you are ready.”

“Thank you.” Wheein says, squeezing back then asks in a small voice, “how about you? Are you..?”

“I’m gay, ever since I can remember.” Byulyi says because she wants Wheein to know. She needs her to know.

Wheein spends one night at Byulyi’s dorm one night, after a gruelling practice. She’s already noticeably skinnier and she doesn't know if Wheein is cuter with round cheeks or this but don’t have any time to ponder because Wheein just seems so lost.

She cries and cries that night— which Byulyi hates, and she tries to make her laugh, buy her food, anything until it doesn’t seem to help— and Hyejin isn’t there, so then she just hugs her until she calms down a little.

And then Wheein kisses her, reluctantly and affectingly soft.

Her taste reminds Byulyi of an innocent first crush.

When Wheein’s lips tremble into her mouth, she kisses her back.

During one of their make-out sessions, after they officially announces that they are going to debut as a group, when Hyejin stays back at the company to practice more and while her hands are drawing small circles in Wheein’s back, she asks, “What do you think of Yongsun-unnie?”

Byulyi sits back, her arms loosely hanging around Wheein’s waist. “Yongsun-unnie? She’s so annoying.” She frowned a little when Byulyi said that. “She’s very hardworking though, I’ll give her that.”

Wheein shakes her head. “I mean do you think she’s beautiful?”

She shrugs. “She’s quite pretty. But still, she’s weird.”

“You just complimented and insulted her in the same sentence.”

“Well it’s hard to find words to describe her.”

Wheein laughs. “I know, Byulyi-unnie.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Byulyi brows raise. “Why did you ask about what I think of Yongsun-unnie?”

Wheein blushes, her eyes get softer. “We’re going to be in the same group?” She suggests.

She rolls her eyes and then kisses Wheein again. “She’s alright, I guess.”

Both of them haven’t talk that much since their debut, because everyone is so busy and everything is so overwhelming and Byulyi spends a lot of time with Yongsun now— it’s like an unspoken agreement that it’s Wheein and Hyejin then Byulyi and Yongsun— and her entire chest hurts when she looks at the older girl and she don’t want to acknowledge why, so when they both have a free time after a long time, Byulyi wants to apologise.

And then Wheein and Byulyi kiss in her bed later that day.

But both of them stop, when they moan the same name.

They didn’t talk about it. And it’s better that way.

Wheein dates boys after boys, which is nauseating. They didn’t stay that long, and Wheein becomes more lost than it makes Byulyi wants to protect her.

And then Byulyi sees the way Wheein looks at Yongsun. Byulyi sees her, and that’s a small reminder that she’s still here.

Byulyi’s feelings grow strong. Wheein’s feelings grow stronger.

And they are trying their hardest to ignore it.

Both of them are hurting, but for some reason Wheein’s pain goes beyond that.

Byulyi continues to keep Yongsun at arm's length because she can’t bear to look at Wheein’s eyes and right now both of them care too much. She still dates boys but now for the same reason Byulyi keeps sleeping with random girls— they both want to get rid of the warmth in their chest when they hear the familiar laugh— but Wheein’s situation is different too (she still won’t accept herself). So Byulyi knows that Wheein is angry with herself.

But she goes from being confused to being really angry, when one day at a music show pre-recording she snaps at one of the staff members— it surprises everyone since Wheein has always been patient and considerate. She can hear Yongsun scolding the younger girl while Wheein keeps apologising, and shakes Hyejin off when she tries to talk to her.

Byulyi let it go then, but after everyone went home, she caught up to her on the way back to Wheein’s apartment. “You need to stop blaming yourself.”

Her brows knit together. “What are you talking about?”

“There is nothing wrong with what you feel. There is nothing wrong with who you are.”

“You’re wrong. I’m not like that anymore.”

“Bullshit,” Byulyi bites out. “You know that’s not true.”

“What’s your problem, unnie?!” Wheein faces her, standing taller than she actually is, grabbing the collar of her shirt.

Byulyi yanks the hand away and then wraps her arms around her waist. She could feel Wheein trying to break free, but it only makes Byulyi hold her tighter. It didn’t take long for her to give in to the embrace. “There is nothing wrong with you, okay?” Byulyi says, softly.

Wheein begins to tremble as she says, “I’m sorry, that I— “

“Stop. It’s no one’s fault.”

Byulyi doesn’t tell her that she saw Yongsun earlier crying before she left.

Byulyi don’t know what to do. She doesn't want to tell Hyejin and Yongsun because she thinks it will only make things worse but Byulyi can’t let Wheein ruin herself like this.

And then she visits her one night in her apartment. Byulyi has been there a few times before but it was a long time ago. They rarely have breaks between busy schedules.

Wheein answers the door, giggling and her eyes glassy.

She gives Byulyi a quick hug before directing her inside, wobbling a little. And then she sees the bottles scattered on the floor.

“You’re drunk,” Byulyi says, as she cleans up the mess.

“I’m a bit tipsy, but I’m okay.”

“You clearly are not,” Byulyi says and she’s so frustrated that she runs her hand through her hair roughly. “Drinking would not make things better.” 

Wheein looks at you. Her eyes are empty.

"You need to stop this," Byulyi says, as gentle as she can.

Wheein just shrugs, then goes back to drinking.

She doesn’t even bother to look back and say her good night to her when she left the apartment.

Byulyi cries as she walks home.

When Wheein says, “I’m dating a girl,” Byulyi knows that it’s more of a statement to herself than the people around.

She told the company. She told her mother. She told her friends. She told Hyejin. She told Byulyi.

Wheein told Yongsun.

She told them how they met— she was her art teacher— and vaguely told them how they got together.

It's so brave, and it's encouraging in a way.

So after the meeting, Byulyi sits besides her in their favourite restaurant with the members. It’s pretty secluded and it’s already late.

Wheein is fidgeting. “So are you guys fine that I... “

“You’re my best friend, Wheein-ah,” Hyejin says. “You’re still the same lovable person that I met back in middle school.”

The other occupant— Yongsun hasn't said anything since the meeting— of the table is quiet and Byulyi doesn't want to point it out. Instead she laughs lightly. “As long as you stop dating questionable men... we’re good.”

Wheein smiles a little. “Thank you.”

Then the patron asks for their orders, and Byulyi is so focused looking at the menu that she almost fails to notice Yongsun holding Wheein’s hand. 

Byulyi doesn't know what to feel— relieved, happy… jealous, she has no idea— about that as she sees Wheein smiling softly, her eyes completely staring at their leader. She doesn't know what she’s expecting, the more and more Byulyi observes them like she’s expecting something, anything.

Instead, Byulyi watches as Yongsun wraps Wheein in a tight embrace, mumbling something to the younger girl, who in return, hugs her with the same vigour.

Byulyi goes back to her apartment and nothing’s different at all.

It’s when she realises that she never stands a chance.

Things get worse. Wheein starts smoking, continues drinking hard— she never stops, but still— and she stops eating properly while managing to attend their busy schedule and hates that Wheein is pretending that she’s handling it.

Byulyi already heard about her break up. She can’t understand how someone can do that to her, how someone can put Wheein— beautiful and broken Wheein— a second choice. Byulyi don’t know how to reach for her anymore and she have Hyejin and Yongsun and she wants Wheein back, so when Byulyi go over to her apartment one night and Wheein is drunk and kisses her roughly— she smells like alcohol and smoke— she breaks away.

“Stop this please, Wheein-ah,” Byulyi says. This time she’s the one who starts crying.

“Are you going to kiss me?” Wheein asks, her voice rough and dangerous. “Or not because I’m not Yongsun-unnie? Or maybe because I reminded you of her?”

It makes her heartache and scared and sad, the way she thought that she’s punishing other people when she’s actually hurting herself, “No, Wheein-ah,” she says.

“Then leave me alone,” Wheein says. 

Byulyi did. She thinks of turning back, but then she thinks about herself.

She remembers she’s hurting too that someone’s feelings are not something Byulyi can just take away.

It’s not the kind of pain that Byulyi can just bear alone for her, and she wishes she could, but what she’s more afraid of Wheein disappearing one day, and that it won’t matter even if they reach out.

A few months later, Wheein is trying to get better again.

This time Byulyi thinks about how strong Wheein is, how she survives without anyone noticing.

When Wheein gets attacked, gets hate comments everywhere, gets an article accusing her of something she can’t control, which is so awful, but still Wheein stands tall.

She will be the one to reassure them, telling them that she’s alright. She even asks them if they receive the same harsh treatment and then tries to comfort them— they do, they always do for expressing themselves, for being confident in their own body and for being themselves. And Byulyi wants to hug her and punch her at the same time.

Because of course, Wheein is affected by all of it.

Wheein is so beautiful yet broken and a mess. Byulyi finds out that Wheein still wasn’t eating properly and only made an effort because Yongsun keeps scolding her until she gives in.

If it had been her or Hyejin. Both of them would have just watched from the sideline hoping that it won’t get too bad than it already is.

But Byulyi is Byulyi and Hyejin is Hyejin, and fuck, Yongsun is Yongsun.

It scares Byulyi. It terrifies her how Yongsun has that kind of hold on Wheein— and to her— and sometimes she resents her for making her feel like that too.

But also glad that Yongsun is taking care of Wheein, because Yongsun looks at Wheein, the way Wheein looks at Yongsun.

Wheein is planning to release another album, and it’s amazing how talented the younger girl is. For the first time in a really long time, Wheein seems to be doing a lot better.

She walks up to Byulyi after rehearsals one day. Hyejin’s away for another schedule and Yongsun is in a meeting with their managers, so it’s just the two of them, and Wheein says, “I’m going to create something where I can express myself. I’m going to talk about accepting yourself, that no matter how diverse and different it seems to be, it’s all the same, when it comes to love.” She looks down.

Byulyi releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding, and for the first time in months— or years, she can’t remember because a lot of things happened— she feels relieved. “That’s good, Wheein-ah.”

She laughs a little. “Being gay and an idol in this country is awesome.”

Byulyi smiles because she really is doing better. “There is nothing wrong with who you are.”

“I know,” she says. “You taught me that… Thank you, for everything unnie.”

Byulyi hugs her so tightly, pulling her close and takes in her pleasantly familiar smell. “Just don’t do anything stupid again, okay? Remember I’m here, Hyejin and Yongsun-unnie are here for you.”

She can feel Wheein cry against her but Byulyi is too, and then she finally breaks away from the embrace. “I just hope that they’ll appreciate it.”

Byulyi nodded. “They will. The right people will.”

“This feels like coming out.”

Byulyi serious when she tells her, “No one's pressuring you. Whenever you’re ready. Take your own time.” Wheein’s eyes are amused and she realizes that she is joking. “This is a serious matter,” Byulyi teasingly scolded her. “But I’m glad that we can finally talk about this.”

Wheein grins. “Just talking though, no other things that involve tongue please.” she says back.

Byulyi laughs. “I think I’ve had enough kissing you already.”

Wheein smirks. “Really? Because people said I’m quite good.”

It’s making Byulyi mad that Wheein won’t tell Yongsun how she feels. It’s making her mad because first Wheein loves Yongsun. And second, Byulyi is pretty sure that Yongsun loves Wheein too, and that Wheein is absolutely the sweetest person they know, so it won’t really be that hard to fall for her. It’s also making her mad because Wheein is being a pussy again, but at least she can understand what she might feel— because her heart still aches for the older girl. Mostly it just makes Byulyi mad because Yongsun is being an even bigger pussy by trying to ignore her feelings.

So when Wheein’s nowhere to be found, she made a point of asking Yongsun directly, “So, where is Wheein?”

And then their manager calls them a few minutes later, the voice is skeptically soft, and tells them that Wheein is not feeling well, and Byulyi curses herself for using Wheein’s disappearance as a taunt.

They all don’t want that.

Yongsun sits next to Byulyi on the plane to their schedule abroad. She doesn’t cry, or so Byulyi thought. She watches as Yongsun’s shoulders subtly move and is twitching, and then she hears the small whimper. And she is holding her chest, sobbing.

Byulyi’s heart aches to see her like that. She doesn't want to blame Wheein. So Byulyi let herself think that in a lot of ways this is her fault.

She tries to hate herself.

But Byulyi can’t even bring herself to hate herself. 

Because Wheein is counting on her, for sure.

Byulyi tries to prepare herself for a Mamamoo without Wheein in it. Hyejin would probably leave too, and Yongsun is definitely going to be sad and she needs to be strong.

She thinks of all the little things that made Wheein special. She thinks of her loud laugh. She thinks of her dimple. She thinks of her sideburns that add to her beautiful face. She thinks of the way she takes care of people around her and acts so nonchalant about it. She thinks of Wheein.

And the list can go on and on. But she stops, because it will only make Byulyi miss her more.

Their manager calls them and tells everyone in the room that Wheein is alright. And that she is in a lot of stress, more than the usual.

It worries her. That thing is awful, but Byulyi can handle them.

But then they say, “She won’t be participating in the group activity for a while. We don’t know for how long. So the three of you should be prepared.”

And Byulyi is afraid. Because it’s supposed to be Byulyi, Yongsun, Wheein Hyejin.

It’s the first time in a long time that Byulyi cries.

After Byulyi had gone to see her— Wheein welcomed her with a small tired smile before slumping on her couch and falling asleep— Byulyi went home. She’s exhausted— she’s rehearsing for countless shows and above that writing songs for their new album and she spends her free time checking on Wheein— and she almost thinks she’s imagining it when she walks in Hyejin’s apartment and sees her, mirroring her expression.

She taps her shoulder softly and Hyejin sniffles and wipes her cheeks.

“Is something wrong?”

She shakes her head. “I’m okay, unnie,” she says.

“Hyejin-ah...” Byulyi put her arms around her.

“When we were in school, we promised that we would make our dreams come true, together.” She mumbles against her shoulder, her voice quiet. “And for years, we aim for that. My only focus is that. It makes me forget what’s more important.”

“Not losing ourselves.” Byulyi’s chest is constricting painfully. She feels melancholic.

Hyejin nods. She hugs you tightly and both of them cry. “I’m sorry,” she says.

She knows Hyejin has nothing to apologise for, but Byulyi knows that she’s mainly saying it for herself. 

“What if Wh— “

“No,” Byulyi says. She leans back and takes her hand. “We got each other.”

She nods. “Thank you, unnie. I love you.” she says.

“I love you too, Hyejin-ah.”

Byulyi is hanging out in Wheein’s apartment one day and Hyejin and Yongsun are already asleep in the bedroom while the two of them are occupying the couch. Wheein is still on break, and she’s getting skinnier than before, but she’s beside her, eating the last piece of pizza with her.

“You know, it’s weird.” She says between bites of her food, Byulyi barely understands what she’s saying because of the chewing, and it makes her smile.

“What’s weird?” Byulyi asks.

“To watch the three of you perform together like that. It’s like even without me you guys can do it like that.” Her face legitimately looks like she believes her words.

“Wheein-ah,” Byulyi says.

She just shrugs as she continues eating. “And, like it doesn’t change that much even if I wasn’t there.”

“Wheein-ah,”

She blinks. “That it won’t matter even though I was gone.”

Byulyi quickly grabs her by her shoulder. Wheein’s eyes widen. “Don’t you dare say that again,” she says.

Wheein moves to speak but Byulyi lightly punches her.

“Don’t you ever think of something like that ever again. Without you, there’s no us to begin with. And I— “ her voice cracks, “— You are very important to me.”

“Byulyi-unnie,” Wheein says, and then Byulyi starts crying.

“You’re so talented and special and you mean so much to me. And I love you, okay?”

Wheein starts crying too and shakes her head and Byulyi ever so gently wraps her arms around her and squeezes her tightly.

Byulyi can hear Wheein mumbles, “I love you too, unnie.”

“The loser crew wouldn’t be complete to annoy Yongsun-unnie without you.”

Both of you cry and laugh and shake their head all at once. She didn’t have to tell her that they would even think of continuing if Wheein leaves because she looks really beautiful and happy, and really sleepy, so she held her close humming their favorite song.

Byulyi says, “Stop staring at Yongsun-unnie,” just to see Wheein blush, and maybe embarrass her a little, and just because it’s fun. 

Then she watches as Wheein’s face lights up full force everytime Yongsun talks to her. There is still a light crease on her brow, but it will smoothen whenever the older girl would lean towards her, like Yongsun knows and she needs to make it go away. 

Byulyi tries not to think about how she wants it for herself, and she tries not to think the lingering tingle in her heart when Yongsun would look in her way. She tries not to think that even if she didn’t care enough, she won’t stand a chance.

So she let Wheein take Yongsun’s hand, tangling their fingers together.

Wheein is here, and it matters more than any petty feelings or what ifs in her mind. And Byulyi just wants her to be happy.

Byulyi laughs together with Hyejin and Yongsun scoots closer to Wheein who stiffens a little, then slowly smiles.

Everything is just light hearted, and for the first time in her life, Byulyi is certain that they will never let go.

“You are too old fashioned,” Byulyi says, teasing Wheein after their schedule. She heard about her giving a handwritten letter to Yongsun and it’s funny because it seems like the older girl is really touched by the gesture that she even mentioned it in an interview. And Wheein is glowing, and it’s been a good day, so both of them are feeling giddy.

Wheein playfully shoves her.

“Hey, I’m still your unnie!”

She just smirks, “And you’re old.”

Wheein calls Byulyi one night, while they are on a long break— the first time in months— one week after they have last seen each other.

“I kissed Yongsun-unnie,” Wheein says into the phone.

“Oh no,” Byulyi says. “You like her? I didn’t know that, it’s not so obvious.”

“Shut up, unnie,” she says, and then both of them laugh.

“So, what happened.”

“She was stunned for a sec, and I thought I made a mistake. But then she suddenly starts crying— I didn’t know I was too so it was a whole mess— and then told me she’s in love with me,” she says. She sounds so shy, soft, and happy. “And then she kissed me back… It was amazing.”

“Congratulations,” Byulyi says.

“Thanks… I’m sorry, unnie,”

It was quiet for a while.

“I’m really happy for you.”

“Byulyi-unnie.”

“I really am.” Byulyi says. And it’s true.

As Byulyi executes the final step— “I really can’t get this choreography,” she makes sure to grumble at every opportunity, because it’s hard and it’s tiring, Wheein is sitting in the stool inside the practice room, frowning.

“I can teach you,” Wheein says.

“No, you stay there,” Yongsun insists, for the nth time that afternoon. “You don’t have to strain yourself alright.”

“Yeah, we got this,” Byulyi says.

Wheein pouts. “But it will be quicker if I do it,” she mumbles.

Yongsun kneels in front of Wheein as Byulyi is about to say something. The older girl takes her hand and whispers something she can’t hear, and that makes Wheein smile, and her eyes bright, and content.

After their concert, Yongsun is out with her friends and Hyejin is resting back at her place, so Wheein ends up spending the night at Byulyi’s apartment.

Both of them just put on a random film and both are peaceful with cuddling in the small couch. It kind of reminds Byulyi of those lazy days they had before debut.

Halfway through the film, Wheein turns to her sleepily in the dark. “Do you think, without Yongsun-unnie, we could’ve fallen in love with each other?”

“Well… You’re beautiful, funny and so talented,” Byulyi says. “And I think at one point I fell in love with you.”

Her lips quirk into a smile. Wheein snuggles closer. “I think so, too.”

It was a cold night. And Byulyi doesn't feel it at all.


End file.
